Gratitude -- More Than a Platitude

This week we will be celebrating Thanksgiving. It is a time for family gatherings and for feasting. Traditionally, a cornucopia, or horn of plenty, filled with the bounty of the harvest has been used as a symbol for our Thanksgiving celebration -- symbolic of the many bounteous blessings we have received from our Father in Heaven.

For many, Thanksgiving, our other sacred holidays (Christmas and Easter) has lost its spiritual meaning. Now it is referred to as "Turkey Day". Football games often receive more devotion than does God. The poor newspaper carrier has to deliver the largest, heaviest newspaper of the year on Thanksgiving day, in order to prepare consumers for the special sales taking place on the following day. Others like Martha of old, are so busy cooking, and making preparations, and getting everything set just so, that they can hardly wait for Thanksgiving to be over with. Lost in the shuffle is the better part of Thanksgiving -- remembering our Lord, and the many blessings He has bestowed upon us.

Is there anything wrong with turkey, or football, or shopping malls? No, not by themselves. However, if they distract us from truly taking stock of our blessings, and expressing our gratitude to God, then we lose out on the true purpose and meaning of the holiday. In fact, we miss out on some choice blessings, if we do not have grateful hearts.

Giving thanks is not merely a courtesy, it's a commandment. In the scriptures we read:

(D&C 59:7)
Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things

(D&C 59:21)
And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments.

(Alma 34:38)
38 . . . that ye [should] live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you.

Why Are We Commanded to be Grateful?

Why does God want us to be grateful unto him? Does he want our praises and thanks for His benefit -- or is there another reason?

Is it because he expects our thanks after all that He's done for us? After all, we owe him, don't we? I would suppose that might be part of the reason as well.

Would not common courtesy and graciousness require us to express our thanks for that which we have received? Surly it would!

However, there is yet another reason for us to be grateful. We know that whenever Heavenly Father gives us a commandment, that he, in turn, attaches certain blessings to that commandment. (See D&C 130:20-21)

Heavenly Father does not just want to hear us say "Thank-You". In his wisdom, He knows that if we will carry a spirit of gratitude in our hearts, that he can bless us in ways that otherwise would not be available to us.

Now, let's see if we have this straight: Heavenly Father wants to give us yet more blessings for thanking him for the blessings we already have!

What blessings do we receive by having a grateful heart?

First, in order to carry a spirit of gratitude in our hearts, we are required to be humble. If we are not humble, we don't acknowledge that the blessings we already possess are from the Lord.

Ingratitude is a form of Pride.

Over time, if we fail to thank the Lord for his blessings, we start to believe that those things which we have are by our own doing alone, rather than received through the grace of God.

President James E. Faust commented on this tendency:

"It seems as though there is a tug-of-war between opposing character traits that leaves no voids in our souls. As gratitude is absent or disappears, rebellion often enters and fills the vacuum. . . . Rebellion against moral cleanliness, beauty, decency, honesty, reverence, and respect for parental authority. A grateful heart is a beginning of greatness. It is an expression of humility. It is a foundation for the development of such virtues as prayer, faith, courage, contentment, happiness, love, and well-being." (James E. Faust, Liahona, Dec. 1996, 3)

If we have grateful hearts, we are blessed with a shield against pride, which can blind our minds and harden our hearts against God.

An Ungrateful Nation

The following statement comments on the State of American Society as a whole. See if you can guess who the author was, and when it was written.

"We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of heaven; we have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity; we have grown in number, wealth, and power as no other Nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us, and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God who made us.

"It behooves us, then, to humble ourselves before the offended power, to confess our . . . sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness." (John Wesley Hill, Abraham Lincoln, Man of God, 4th ed., New York: G. P. Putnam's Sons, p. 391.)

This quote comes from Abraham Lincoln, in 1863! If you didn't know better, you might think that it was something written by a church leader, or heard in a recent General Conference!

As a society, have we become too proud to pray?

The same pitfalls of ingratitude and pride that can befall individual, can also befall a society. Likewise, the same blessings that an individual can enjoy by being humble and grateful, can also benefit a whole society as well.

Taken to its extreme, ingratitude can result in a denial of God altogether.
In the Book of Mormon, we have the example of Korihor, who stated:

(Alma 30:17-18.)
17 . . . [That] every man prospered according to his genius, and that every man conquered according to his [own] strength; and whatsoever a man did was no crime.

18. . . [and] that when a man was dead, that was the end thereof.

Korihor not only denies that we are blessed of God, he denies God altogether. He argued that everything we have comes from our own cunning and labor. He also denies that there is a life after death, wherein we will be held accountable for our actions here on earth. Logically, if this were to be true, it would follow that you may as well do anything you can get away with, because there is no accountability for our actions. A very selfish, and self-centered philosphy.

Keeping Score

A lack of gratitude can lead to a condition I refer to as: "Keeping Score". This is where we keep track of how good someone else has it, and how lousy things are for us.

Keeping score always has at least two elements:

• A comparison between us and someone else, and
• A feeling that we are not being treated fairly.

Let me illustrate with an example that often happens in our home:

In our house each evening before dinner, one child sets the table, empties the dishwasher, and puts the clean dishes away. After dinner, the other child clears off the table, loads (and hopefully actually starts ) the dishwasher, and wipes down the table, sink, and countertops.

Each week they exchange kitchen jobs.

This system might seem straightforward, but it doesn't always work out that way. Life always seems to interrupt our schedules. Should a disruption to the normal schedule take place, one child might be asked to fill-in for the sibling who is unavailable to do their regular task when scheduled.

On Tuesday nights Bryan attends the Young Men's program here at the church. If he happens to be on clean-up duty in the kitchen, there is usually not enough time for him after dinner to do his job and make it to scouts on-time.

On Thursdays, both children have piano lessons, with Amy having the later session. If she has table-setting duty, she might not have time to complete her chores in time before dinner.

Disruptions to the schedule can provide opportunities for service. Amy could help out Bryan cleaning up the kitchen on Tuesday nights. Bryan could help out Amy by setting the table on Thursday nights.

However, sometimes these opportunities for service are not always met with a smile. The suggestion that one child might help out a sibling by doing the other's chore sometimes met with resistance. Often times we will hear something like: "It's not my turn!", or "It's his or her job" , and, "I did it last time!" as if there were a scoreboard keeping track of whose turn it is.

Sometimes a comparison of jobs will be made. Who's job is the hardest? And how often does one sibling have to fill in for the other. And this so unfair!

When all is said and done, the task is usually done, but not always with a smile.

The same situation happens to adults as well. Think of the workplace. Some tasks are more desirable than others. How many times do we roll our own eyes when asked to do an unpleasant task. How often to we complain, or hear complaints about how so-and-so always gets out of having to do the unpleasant tasks that we seem to always get stuck with. Do we hear or make complaints of how unfairly we are being treated? Are we keeping score too?

Each of us, whether as children or adults would be less prone to keeping score, if we were more humble, and more gracious.

The Savior's Example

Let's look to the life of the Savior. Did he keep score? After a long, tiring day, when the little children were brought before him to be blessed, did he tell them go away? No! He invited them to come unto him. He took them on his knee and be blessed them. His disciples had figured that he had already done enough for one day, but the Savior's response was to turn no one away. (See Mark 10:13-16)

When we call upon the Lord for his blessings, will he turn us away? Will he hang up a "closed" sign and tell us to come back some other time? No! He invites always to come unto him, at any time, and at any place.

When Jesus knelt in the Garden of Gethsemane, and as he Hung on the Cross, was he keeping score? Did he complain about how hard his task was, compared to what was required of the rest of Heavenly Father's children? No! He bent His will to that of the Father.

Then he took upon himself the sins of the world. Again, was he keeping score? No! For his was an infinite and eternal sacrifice, for which it was impossible to score.

Even though we can't comprehend what he went through, we know that he did accomplish the work of the Atonement. And we know that he did it for us, because he loved his Father enough to do his father's will, and because he loved us enough that he was willing to bear all of our sins and burdens as well.

If He could do all of that for us without complaint, without keeping score, how is it that we have such a hard time loving and serving one another ungrudgingly. When you think of what the Savior has done for us, it makes our whining and complaining and score keeping seem very small, indeed.

To Whom Do We Owe Our Gratitude?

As we begin to understand the power of gratitude in our lives, and the shield of protection that a grateful heart can bring to us, it would be wise to consider to whom we owe a debt of gratitude.

Some of those would include:

• Our Parents and Family. -- The ones who have borne and raised us in this world.
• Our Teachers, leaders, and those who have been good examples and an influence for good in our lives.
• Our ancestors, as well those from whom we have inherited a legacy of the gospel -- Including the prophet Joseph Smith, and his successors. This is true whether we are a first generation member of the church, or if we have many generations of our family in the church.
• The Founders of our Nation, and the soldiers who have protected and defended the freedoms we enjoy.
• Of course we owe a debt of gratitude to our Heavenly Father, for his wondrous plan of salvation, and his willingness to share all that he has with us, including his only begotten son, Jesus Christ
• Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer, without whom the plan of the Father could never come have come to pass.

How Do We Show Our Gratitude and Appreciation?

The first way we can express our gratitude is by expressing it verbally. Express thanks to our parents, our families, and those who have taught us, or have been an influence for good in our lives. President Thomas S. Monson encourages us to "Think To Thank." Be sure to take a moment to express our thanks and appreciation to others. Drop someone a thank-you note. Let them know you are thankful for the impact they have had on your life.

Take this approach, even with casual acquaintances or other associates. You never know when your moment of thoughtfulness may be an answer to someone's prayer. Your acknowledgement of them may be just the thing that helps them get through a difficult moment in their lives.

How can we thank those who are no longer living among us: our ancestors, the forefathers of our nation, and the prophets and apostles in this and previous dispensations to whom we owe so much. We can't just call them up on the phone, or drop a note in the mail. Not even email or instant messaging can reach them! How can we show our love and gratitude for their sacrifices on our behalf?

I would propose that if we honor the legacy that they have left for us, by living honorable lives, that they would feel that their sacrifice was worthwhile.

With Heavenly Father and Jesus, we do have a way of communicating with them, through the power of prayer. We can take time on our knees, in earnest prayer to express our gratitude for the many blessings we have received. However, there is more that we can do beyond honoring them with our words.

We can honor them best, by honoring the covenants we have made. We honor them, and show gratitude by the way we live our lives. When we obey our Heavenly Father's commandments, we show our love for him. It was Jesus who said: "If ye love me, keep my commandments" (See John 14:15).

Even though we may express thanks to the Lord in words, if we do not strive to keep His commandments, we are, in effect, being ungrateful. In essence, if we do not honor Our Heavenly Father by keeping the covenants we have made with Him, then we are rejecting the gift of the atonement that was wrought by His Son.

Passing Along Our Gifts

Perhaps the best way we can show our gratitude for what the Lord has done for us, is for us, in-turn, to give the heavenly gifts we have received to others.

We can give our children the gift of a good home, filled with love, warmth and the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We can see that they receive the blessings of the Priesthood, and the eternal blessings of the temple.

We can also reach out to those around us who may not as yet received the great gifts that are ours. We can reach out to those who may have lost their way, whether they be members of the church, or those who have yet to learn the message of the restored gospel.

How pleased and honored our Lord would be if we were to assist Him in His work of bringing souls unto Christ.

Conclusion

As we enter this holiday season, may we do so with grateful hearts, recognizing our dependence upon the Lord for all that we have, all that we are, and all that we ever hope to become.

As the gift-giving season approaches, may we remember that the greatest gift ever given was that of our Father In Heaven sending us his Only Begotten Son to be the Savior of the World. May we also reach out to our families and fellow-man, and give them the gifts of the gospel of Jesus Christ, which will last well beyond Christmas morning, but will last for a lifetime, and endure throughout all eternity.

Are They There Yet?

Most of us with children, have had a child ask (usually repeatedly), are we there yet?

One of the great responsibilities we have as parents is to prepare our children for the journey of life. At some point in time, each child will reach a point when they will no longer be in our immediate care. This may come when they are about to leave home for college, a mission, or to embark on a new path. For some, it may also be when they are called home to their Heavenly Father's care. In any case, as parents, we may well ask ourselves the question: "Are They There Yet?" Meaning, have we prepared them sufficiently for their journey through life, when we will not be able to shepherd their every move. How will they act, now that they are alone.

Early Teachings and Examples

As parents, we have a responsibility to teach our children to pray. One of the most powerful lessons about prayer we can give our children is the example we set as we pray. Let them see us offering our prayers every day and night. Let them see us offering fervent prayer, as we pass through the trials of life. Let them hear us petitioning the Lord on their behalf. Let them know that they are important enough for us to call upon the powers of heaven for blessings upon their heads. Then let them hear us bear sincere testimony that God has heard and answered our prayers. Then when the day comes when they will pass through their own trials –they will be prepared.

In later years, as the child grows up and is away from home and family, prayer – both those we offer in their behalf, and hopefully the prayers they offer on their own, – can provide a shield of progection to them. Also our teachings, both lessons taught, as well as lessons learned by our examples will help server them as well.

Elder Henry B Eyring relates an experience he had with his father when he left home:

“Parting can be hard, particularly when the parent and the child know that they may not see each other for a long time. I had that experience with my father. We parted on a street corner in New York City. He had come there for his work. I was there on my way to another place. We both knew that I probably would never return to live with my parents under the same roof again.

It was a sunny day, around noontime, the streets crowded with cars and pedestrians. On that particular corner there was a traffic light which stopped the cars and the people in all directions for a few minutes. The light changed to red; the cars stopped. The crowd of pedestrians hurried off the curbs, moving every way, including diagonally, across the intersection.

The time had come for parting, and I started across the street. I stopped almost in the center, with people rushing by me. I turned to look back. Instead of moving off in the crowd, my father was still standing on the corner looking at me. To me he seemed lonely and perhaps a little sad. I wanted to go back to him, but I realized the light would change and so I turned and hurried on.

Years later I talked to him about that moment. He told me that I had misread his face. He said he was not sad; he was concerned. He had seen me look back, as if I were a little boy, uncertain and looking for assurance. He told me in those later years that the thought in his mind had been: Will he be all right? Have I taught him enough? Is he prepared for whatever may lie ahead?” (Henry B. Eyring, “Write Upon My Heart”, Ensign, Nov. 2000, p85)

Have We Done Enough?

Throughout our lives, and as our children grow up, there are times when we too, may wonder if we have taught them enough. Are they sufficiently prepared for the challenges and realities of life? Do they know in whom they can trust? We, as parents cannot be with them at every moment of their lives to give direction and counsel.

I remember taking my eldest son to his first day of kindergarten. It was the first such parting for our family. He was so young. He was a little small for his age. We worried about how well he would be treated and accepted by others. Would he be easily led astray by others? Would he choose the right?

Later, he would go on his first scout camp. Would he be wise in his decisions and choices? At this age, out in the wilderness, he faced choices that could mean life or death! Will he obey the rules, and stay with the group? How will he behave?

Later, he’ll go on his first date. Will he remember the Lord’s standards for proper conduct with the opposite sex? Will he be true to the moral values he has been taught, both at home, and at church?

When the time comes, will he choose to go on a mission. Will he serve faithfully?

When he comes home, will he remain true and faithful in the gospel. Will he seek out a young woman with whom he can be worthily married in the temple?

Will he, in turn, be a wise parent, and set the proper example to his own children?

These are questions we all have as parents. At each of these times, like Elder Eyring’s father, we may wonder if we have taught them enough, and if we have prepared them enough for the challenges they will face in life.

Enos

In the Book of Mormon, we find examples of parents who taught their children well, and whose teaching and examples of prayer would bless the lives of their children.

One day Enos went into the forest to go hunting. As he found himself alone in the wilderness, he began to ponder in his heart and mind the things that had been taught to him by his father, Jacob:

Behold, I went to hunt beasts in the forests; and the words which I had often heard my father speak concerning eternal life, and the joy of the saints, sunk deep into my heart.

And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.

And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed. (Enos 1:3-5)

We don’t know how old Enos was at this time. We don’t know if is father, Jacob, was still living at this time.

What we do know, is that the teachings of his father were deeply imprinted upon him. We do know that when the time was right, that the words of his father caused him to ponder and think, and seek out the Lord in prayer. He wanted to make sure his life was right with God.

Alma

Another instance where the teachings of parents played an important role in the life of their child was that of Alma the Younger:

In this situation,Alma the younger was,perhaps, in his greatest hour of need. He was suffering in mind, body and spirit as he was harrowed up by the memory of his sins. In his mercy, what did the Lord do for Alma? He sent the Holy Ghost to him, and in his hour of need, recalled to the mind of Alma the words that he had been taught by his father, perhaps long before, and possibly long since forgotten. The words that he came to Alma’s mind were the very words that he needed to hear in his moment of despair. They were the words that testify of Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world.

You never know when your own teachings will be brought to remembrance in the minds of your children. Like, Alma, it might be in a moment of extreme need. It might be in a moment when their eternal destiny might hinge on a single decision. The words of truth and testimony that you teach your children, may be just the thing that pulls them through, during the fiery trials of their lives. The Holy Ghost will help to bring these teachings to their rememberance. (See John 14:26)

Don’t let the opportunities to teach your children pass you by. Take advantage of Family home evenings, and family scripture study to teach them the gospel. Even more importantly, teach them by example. Your children will remember your actions more readily than they will remember your words. Additionally, your example speaks volumes about what is truly most important to you.

Leave your children a legacy of honor, and of truth, and of testimony. It can be a legacy that will not only bless the lives of your children, but can also span the generations to come.

The culmination of all our efforts as a Parents in the home could be summed up by the invitation: "Come Follow Me, as I follow Christ."

Writings Upon The Heart

When preparing to attend a Priesthood meeting, President George Q. Cannon once said:

“I should enter that assembly with my mind entirely free from all influence that would prevent the operation of the Spirit of God upon me. I should go in a prayerful spirit, asking God to write upon my heart His will; not with my own will already prepared, and determined to carry out my will … , regardless of everyone else’s views. If I were to go, and all the rest were to go, with this spirit, then the Spirit of God would be felt in our midst, and that which we would decide upon would be the mind and will of God, because God would reveal it to us. We would see light in the direction where we should go, and we would behold darkness in the direction we should not go” (Deseret Semi-Weekly News, 30 Sept. 1890, 2; emphasis added).

Notice here that President Cannon entered the meeting with a prayer in his heart. He came with an open mind and an open heart – willing to receive God’s will, and willing to relinquish his own. He wanted the Lord to not only convey his will to him, but to write his will upon his heart .

We might want to use this same approach as we listen to, general conference, or as we later re-read the conference talks.

We might want to use this approach as we enter our council meetings, whether they we ward or stake councils, presidency meetings, or even family councils.

This would be a good approach to take as we prepare ourselves to attend the temple, and as we prepare ourselves to partake of the sacrament.

This is the approach that we should take as we approach the Lord in prayer, especially when we are seeking guidance and counsel regarding the direction our lives should take.

Let his will be written upon our hearts. Let it have the power to change us for the better, that we can progress toward our eternal goals.

Having Our Own Personal Liahona

When Lehi was traveling through the wilderness, the Lord Provided the Liahona for he and his family. This Liahona had spindles on it, that pointed them in the direction that they should go on their journey toward the promised land. The ball also contained instructions from the Lord, and taught them about his ways, which if followed would give them guidance and direction along their way. This is how Nephi describes it:

And it came to pass that I, Nephi, beheld the pointers which were in the ball, that they did work according to the faith and diligence and heed which we did give unto them.

And there was also [that which was] written upon [the ball] . . ., which was plain to be read, which did give us understanding concerning the ways of the Lord; and it was written and changed from time to time, according to the faith and diligence which we gave unto it. (1 Nephi 16:28-29)

As we approach the Lord in humility and faith he will guide our lives in a similar manner. Only for us, instead of the writing being upon a ball, the writing is upon our hearts. He will give us direction in the way in which we should travel. Guiding us in the more fertile, bounteous paths of living the gospel, and away from the barren deserts of despair and sin.

From time to time, the writing upon our hearts may be updated as well. At each phase of our life, there are things the Lord would have us do and learn. As we give proper faith and heed to what He would have us do, the Lord will give us further light and knowledge, and further ways in which we can make that next step to become more like Him. Eventually, we will be led to the promised land, which is to have Eternal Life, with our Father In Heaven.

Choose You this Day

Each of us must arrive at a time in our lives, when we are willing to give our own will over to the will of the Father. Each of us must be converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ – regardless of whether you may have just joined the church, or if you come from a long line of many generations in the church.

To those who have been raised in the church, it is sometimes easy to accept the gospel as a way of life, or as a cultural experience rather than a spiritual experience. We go to church because our family does. We might go on a mission, or marry in the temple – which are worthy pursuits – but, perhaps, only because it is expected of us.

However, for each of us, there comes a time in our lives when we have to choose – really choose – how we will live our lives, and what kind of a man or woman we will really be.

Unless we have had our hearts changed, so that they are written with the will of God, rather than our own will, it will be difficult, if not impossible to withstand all the trials and temptations of this life.

Each of us must have our own “Joshua” moment: “Choose you this day whom you will serve, but as for me and my house – we will serve the Lord.” (See Joshua 24:15)

My Joshua Moment

My Joshua moment came when I was 30 years old. I realized that I had been drifting along, and was beginning to go off the straight and narrow path. I decided to re-read the Book of Mormon once again, but this time, just as one who is investigating the church would read it. As I read, many insights came to me. The power of the Holy Ghost issued a gentle call to repentance as well.

I began to make changes in my life, but was still a little unsure of myself, and my standing before God.

Then one day, a priesthood leader asked me to fill an assignment. The time of decision was at hand. It seemed like, for a moment, that time had stopped.

I began to wonder if I was up to the challenge. Was I worthy? Could I do it? Was I ready? Before my doubts and fears could overtake me, I felt a wondrous flood of light, and a feeling of peace and confidence flood over me. I felt the presence of the Holy Ghost with great strength and power.

It was like the Spirit of the Lord was my best cheerleader, urging me on to take the next step of faith. I felt him saying: "Yes! You can do it! Commit to yourself, and to God that from this day forward, you will leave your old self behind, and walk with Him in a newness of life."

For the first time in a long time, I had real hope, and a confidence that I could do it.

All of these thoughts and feelings transpired in a single moment, maybe 1 or 2 seconds long in real-time, as my priesthood leader awaited my answer. At that moment, I made my choice. My Joshua Moment had come. I chose that as for me, I would serve the Lord.

I accepted that assignment from my priesthood leader, and fulfilled it. He may never know what great impact he had on me, just by asking me to fulfill an assignment. From that moment on, my heart was changed. The results of that Joshua moment, will have eternal consequences.

I chose to have the Lord’s will written upon my heart. I wanted to do His will, instead of my own selfish will. And with that willingness and commitment, comes great power. The power to change. The ability to overcome weaknesses, through the power our Savior, Jesus Christ. Through Him, I found the power to become a new and better person. The power to pass through the trials and temptations of mortal life. Each of us needs to have this power in our hearts and lives, if we are to overcome the world.

Conclusion

Originally I posed the question, "Are They There yet", or are they prepared to take on this world. We can help prepare them by teaching them to pray, reading the scriptures, and by living gospel standards. We can reinforce those teachings by our own examples. We can teach them about the importance of receiving the Holy Ghost, and developing a personal Liahona within our own hearts.

All of these things will help prepare them for their own "Joshua Moment". Of course ultimately, the choice will always be their own. Agency is the Prime Directive of the Plan Of Salvation. It is for us to "light the path, and show them the way" toward the Savior. They must have their own relationship with the Savior, and if they have that, they have all they need to overcome the world. And then, they will be there, at last.